


Changes

by CractasticDispatches



Series: TVXQ Drabbles [3]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M, and yunho being clueless, possibly more fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:40:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4097905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CractasticDispatches/pseuds/CractasticDispatches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Of course, it only buys them a little time, a few minutes at most, but it’s still a few minutes of something, of anything — a few moments of toothpaste-flavored kisses and Yunho’s hands sliding through Jaejoong’s damp hair. Of Yunho leaning back against their workroom door and Jaejoong pressed up as close as he can get between Yunho’s legs — and it’s better than nothing.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>At least, that’s what Jaejoong tells himself.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

Managing turns out to be lot more difficult than either of them had hoped. Jaejoong wishes he could say it was because they’re prepping for a tour or because the band is taking off so much _(which is is, it really is now, which is amazing: already so much more than Jaejoong ever dared to dream when he left home to chase after a career no one thought he could do)_ , but honestly? Even when he was a trainee he didn’t get much free time. Now, between photoshoots, promoting, radio shows, tv appearances, interviews, and working on the music for their next album, there are weeks when they barely have enough time to eat and sleep, never mind getting any kind of time alone together — not that they don’t try. Possibly the only upside to being so scheduled up is the inevitable chaos in the mornings; when Yunho starts slipping into the bathroom before Jaejoong actually comes out, no one seems to notice. And when Jaejoong sometimes forgets things and has to go running back to their workroom to get it and Yunho just happens to still be in there, grabbing a few things himself, nobody thinks twice about it.

Of course, it only buys them a little time, a few minutes at most, but it’s still a few minutes of something, of _anything_ — a few moments of toothpaste-flavored kisses and Yunho’s hands sliding through Jaejoong’s damp hair. Of Yunho leaning back against their workroom door and Jaejoong pressed up as close as he can get between Yunho’s legs — and it’s better than nothing.

At least, that’s what Jaejoong tells himself.

Yunho seems to be taking it with much more grace than Jaejoong. He never complains about their schedules, not even when all the rest of them are. Not even when their alarms go off and they all tumble out of bed after only a few hours of sleep. Not even when the managers come, calling their names, and Yunho just gives Jaejoong an apologetic smile and one last, quick kiss before slipping out the door to apologize for being late. He goofs around with Yoochun and tries to help Junsu with his Japanese or Changmin with his English. He smiles whenever Jaejoong enters a room, and sits next to him a lot in the vans, and often stands beside him, one arm thrown casually around his shoulders, while they listen to schedules or instructions or even just the others batting around ideas for choreo or lyrics or activities. Honestly, it’s not all that different from before — when they were just best friends — and that’s…confusing.

Because when they fooled around on the couch, it definitely wasn’t just Jaejoong who _wanted_. It definitely wasn’t. Jaejoong is positive of this because he remembers; remembers the way Yunho’s hands swept over his body. Remembers the stark desire of his moans. The way he kissed Jaejoong so hard and so deep, like it would never be enough. And now he seems content to just be. Like it is enough. A few stolen moments and shared laughter and Yunho just wanders around smiling.

_(And Jaejoong tries to tell himself that maybe Yunho’s just better at hiding frustration than Jaejoong is, but Yunho is one of the worst liars Jaejoong’s ever met and even if acting and lying aren’t exactly the same thing, he’s pretty sure Yunho couldn’t keep it up this well for this long if it were all an act. So Yunho must really, actually be happy. Which is good, of course it’s good. Jaejoong wants Yunho to be happy. It’s just…confusing. Because Jaejoong is mostly just frustrated.)_

  


Jaejoong is at his desk, curled up in his chair and squinting at the brightness of the screen, when suddenly a pair of arms drop down over his shoulders and wind themselves around his chest.

“Are you working?” Yunho asks, peering over his shoulder at the screen. “It’s so late.”

Jaejoong blinks and glances at the clock in the corner. It’s past midnight. “Ah, I didn’t notice.”

“You never do. You’ll be in here for hours and then come out and still think it’s lunchtime.”

“Writing lyrics is easier than composing music,” Jaejoong says. “And I’m still not that good at playing the piano so it takes a long time.”

Yunho chuckles. “You don’t play that bad; we all just feel bad next to Yoochun. You work too much. We’re all up early tomorrow, remember? Everyone else already went to bed.”

That gets Jaejoong’s attention. “All of them? Even Yoochun?”

“Mm-hm.” Yunho turns to nuzzle Jaejoong’s hair. “Everyone. It’s just us now.”

Well. That’s promising. “Oh?” he says, angling his head a little, trying _(sort of)_ to be subtle about it but mostly just interested in encouraging Yunho’s lips in the direction of his neck.

“Yeah,” Yunho murmurs against his ear. “You should unwind so you can sleep too.”

Definitely promising.

“So stop working and come watch a movie with me or something.”

What?

“A movie?” Jaejoong repeats, because, seriously? That’s where he was going with this?

“I know you can’t just go from working to sleeping,” says Yunho, and, okay, that _is_ true, “and if I let you keep working you’ll just be here all night,” also probably true, “and then you’ll spend all day exhausted and pushing yourself anyway because you always work hard. And then you’ll probably just get sick and I’d be the worst person ever if I let that happen so —”

“So you decided to distract me?” There has got to be a way to get this conversation going back in the right direction. Jaejoong just hopes this is it. _(And he could start it. Could just turn around and grab Yunho’s collar. Could just pull him down and start kissing him and he’s almost sure it would be fine. That Yunho would go along with him. Except he wants it to be Yunho. Wants it to be Yunho who starts. Who wants. Stupidly craves that little bit of reassurance, which he knows he probably shouldn’t need but sometimes he still feels like all of this was so sudden. Like he spent so much time watching Yunho, wanting this all by himself, and then Yunho kissed him and he still has trouble believing it’s real.)_

“That’s right,” says Yunho, still speaking into the crest of Jaejoong’s ear. “You are a workaholic and need to be distracted.”

“Movies,” says Jaejoong carefully, “are not that distracting. And I thought you were trying to make me tired, not keep me up for a few more hours.”

“Old reruns?” Yunho suggests, sounding confused. “Or video games or—” He stops, trailing off. And maybe he’s remembering the last time they played video games or maybe it’s finally connected with him that they’re actually alone or maybe he’s just noticed the way Jaejoong can’t quite stop himself trying to lean into those lips at his ear but either way when Yunho nuzzles into his hair again, it’s a little less absent. A little more purposeful.

“Or,” he says quietly, running his lips along the curve of Jaejoong’s ear and making Jaejoong’s breath hitch, “you did say _I_ was distracting.” His tongue darts out, flicking the little ring in the cartilage and Jaejoong isn’t quite sure what it says about him _(that he’s young, that he’s more sexually frustrated than celibate monks, that his feelings for Yunho go beyond stupid, maybe all three)_ that that makes his whole body tingle. Makes his stomach clench up and a whine rise in his throat.

Yunho hums and grins against his ear, like he’s so fucking pleased with himself, and he does it again, this time opening his mouth to close his teeth gently over the earring and Jaejoong feels like he might actually come out of his own skin, and how can something that tiny feel like this much?

Yunho’s hands slide up his sides to his chest. “Still feel like working?” he asks.

Jaejoong doesn’t bother trying to answer a question that stupid, just scrambles out of his chair and plasters himself against Yunho, braiding his fingers into his hair and crushing their mouths together.

Yunho makes a little, startled ‘mmph’ sound and stumbles back a bit, hands coming up to grab at Jaejoong’s hips but Jaejoong just follows, pressing forward until they fetch up against something _(he_ thinks _it’s Yunho’s desk, but it might be the keyboard in which case it’s a good thing they always turn it off because he’s not about to stop for something like that)_. Nipping at Yunho’s lips to get him to open his mouth and going up onto his toes to try and press their hips together.

If this onslaught catches Yunho off guard, it doesn’t take him long to recover. He shifts his feet apart, leaning back on whatever it is and pulling Jaejoong right in between his legs, one hand still gripping his hip, the other slipping up under his shirt and running warm over his skin. His mouth opens and he runs his tongue along Jaejoong’s teeth then sucks at his lower lip and Jaejoong moans and presses forward. Detaches one hand from Yunho’s hair and starts feeling around for the hem of his shirt because he definitely came to the conclusion last time that more skin is better.

“Ah, we might hate ourselves for this in the morning,” says Yunho, pulling back a little and tugging at Jaejoong’s own shirt. “We really do have to get up early.”

“No,” says Jaejoong firmly _(well, as firmly as he can when Yunho’s mouth is at his neck and his fingers are stroking up his sides like that, which isn’t very)_. “No, that makes this the best idea. We’ll sleep like corpses and feel like geniuses in the morning.”

Yunho pulls back to look at him, and his eyes are so dark and so alive and it makes Jaejoong’s whole body catch, somehow. Like a hiccup only everywhere.

“Good,” says Yunho. He lets Jaejoong go and pulls his shirt off over his head, tossing it away. Then he grabs Jaejoong’s hem. “Because I don’t really feel like stopping.” He practically rips Jaejoong’s shirt off and Jaejoong almost gets stuck inside the damn thing before he remembers how his arms work. And then Yunho’s hands are on his skin and his mouth is exploring his collarbones and all Jaejoong can do is grip his shoulders and gasp at the feel of it.

He thought that after the first time, it would be less intense. That he would be better or more prepared for the overwhelmingness of the sensations. He isn’t. Not at all. If anything, it’s even more intense this time, and maybe it’s because every time Yunho touches him, he remembers last time and how good even just that was or maybe it’s because of the anticipation or maybe just because last time Yunho wasn’t really in a good position to use his mouth this much, the way Jaejoong did on him a little and now that it’s his turn, now that Yunho’s tongue is running down the column of his throat and exploring the planes of his chest, he’s vaguely astonished that Yunho managed to say words, even just Jaejoong’s name, because he’s pretty sure that none of the sounds he’s making right now are even remotely coherent.

Yunho’s hands move down to his hips and he moves, pushing Jaejoong back and around, rolling forward off the keyboard _(it_ was _the keyboard)_ and walking them back. And maybe the coherency problem was more just a lack of incentive because Jaejoong manages to get “Yunho, what are you—” out before Yunho presses him up against the wall and then attaches his mouth to one of Jaejoong’s nipples. Which is an entirely new sensation and feels fucking _fantastic_ and pretty much reduces the importance of that question to nothing.

Jaejoong hisses and digs his nails into Yunho’s back without meaning to. And he wonders for about a second whether he should try to apologize but Yunho groans and sucks a little harder, swirling his tongue around it, and Jaejoong decides it’s probably fine and holds on a little harder as his feet do some bizarre kind of dance, trying to get something to rock his hips against but finding only air because of the way Yunho has to stand to get his mouth to Jaejoong’s chest.

Yunho grips his hips, pressing Jaejoong back hard into the wall, and bends down lower, mouthing over Jaejoong’s ribs and down to his abdomen. One of Jaejoong’s hands grips Yunho’s shoulder hard while the other scrabbles at the wall for purchase because he can feel the heat building, starting to coil in the pit of his stomach, and Yunho is still pressing him into the wall and he can’t move like he needs to. Has nothing to grind against in any case.

Yunho drops to his knees. Jaejoong opens his mouth to ask _(to try to ask)_ what the hell he’s doing, but before he can find his voice Yunho’s tongue swirls around his bellybutton.

Jaejoong is ticklish. He always has been. And Yunho knows that, learned that back during their trainee days and has always loved having an excuse, any reason at all, to tickle Jaejoong, chasing him around the practice room and wrestling him to the floor, tickling him til he’s absolutely breathless with laughter. And that has never been sexy in any way whatsoever so it makes absolutely no sense that this, which does tickle, should also be arousing somehow. Should send a hot zing up Jaejoong’s spine. Only the sharp gasp that escapes him definitely isn’t just laughter or surprise.

Yunho’s eyes flick up to his face, and he grins and does it again. And this time there’s a little more laughter in the sound _(though that zing is definitely still there and it’s like he can feel it other places too, places other than his stomach; a tight tingling at the nape of his neck, a burning at the bottoms of his feet,_ ~~ _and maybe somewhere else too, somewhere he’s definitely not ready to contemplate just yet_~~ _and how the fuck does that even work?)_ and Jaejoong grits out, “If you start tickling me, we are going to wake up everyone. Also I will absolutely kill you.”

Yunho laughs softly and then rubs his nose against Jaejoong’s belly. Which is neither particularly tickling nor arousing but it hits Jaejoong anyway. So much affection _(love)_ in such a small gesture. And he has to take a moment to remember to breathe.

“Sleep is good for them,” says Yunho, face still pressed against Jaejoong’s stomach and fingers now tracing over his hip bones and trailing along the waistband of his jeans. “They don’t get nearly enough sleep. They should all sleep lots and lots.” He pops the button on Jaejoong’s pants. And he’s still on his knees and Jaejoong’s mouth falls open as he suddenly realizes. Understands.

“You — I — Yunho—”

Yunho, pulling down the zip and starting to tug at Jaejoong’s pants and underwear, suddenly stops. Looks up at him. And his eyes are still dark and his eyelids look heavier now, thicker maybe _(which should look stupid but mostly just looks kind of hot)_ , but there’s seriousness there too.

“Can I — is this —?” he falters, apparently unsure how to ask. Which Jaejoong understands, because he’s not really sure how to answer, either.

“You, you don’t have t— I can’t— I mean, I don’t know how—” Because he barely knows what he’s doing with his hands. And Yunho should know. Should know that he doesn’t have to do this, not when Jaejoong can’t reciprocate, not yet. It doesn’t seem fair.

Yunho strokes one thumb down the inside of Jaejoong’s hip and he can feel it so clearly even through his jeans. And he’s still looking right at him, dark eyes and open expression. Jaejoong shivers and isn’t sure whether it’s from the touch or from the way Yunho is looking at him but suddenly this feels like something so much more than it was just a second ago. He couldn’t look away if his life depended on it.

“That’s okay. Me, either, remember?”

Jaejoong mouths silently for a few seconds. Gives up on words. Nods. _Consents._ Yunho tugs his pants open and down, and Jaejoong’s fingers clutch reflexively at the wall because they’ve seen each other naked before — they all have — but this is different and it feels so much more exposed. Naked in a way he didn’t know it was possible to feel.

Yunho leans in, presses a kiss to the soft skin at the base of Jaejoong’s cock and Jaejoong cannot breathe.

“Just — just warn me, okay?” Yunho says, and his voice is a little bit hoarse, a little bit husky. “Warn me before—” His eyes flick up to Jaejoong’s face again and Jaejoong nods wordlessly. Still trying to find his breath again. Yunho curls a hand around him, and for a moment, Jaejoong feels frozen. Like time must have stopped. Like his own heart’s forgotten how to beat. And then Yunho moves and Jaejoong’s head hits the wall behind him, hard, and he doesn’t even care, doesn’t even really notice because _Yunho’s mouth._

He’s wondered before, what this might feel like. What it would be like to have someone’s mouth on him. Tried to imagine it. This is nothing like he imagined. It’s so much more, so much better. Hot and wet and he has to bite the inside of his own wrist to keep from crying out when Yunho actually sucks and _fuck._ This is so not going to take very long.

Jaejoong’s hips buck involuntarily the second time Yunho sucks on him and Yunho pulls back, coughing and sputtering a little and Jaejoong smacks his head back against the wall again.

“Sorry, sorry, I —” But Yunho just wipes his mouth, pins Jaejoong’s hips more firmly against the wall, and starts again. Keeps one hand at Jaejoong’s hip and the other wrapped around the base of his cock this time, compensating for what won’t fit in his mouth, making sure it doesn’t happen again but there’s nothing hesitant about the way he moves, just experimental. Learning what works and what doesn’t.

Honestly, as far as Jaejoong is concerned, it _all_ works. Everything. The heat, the wet, the friction of Yunho’s hand, the various things Yunho tries doing with his tongue — he has to bite his wrist again, hard, when Yunho licks his slit. He can feel the heat that started to build the second Yunho started mouthing his ear start to change. Go deeper. Sit heavier in his abdomen and he gasps and tugs at Yunho’s hair.

“Yun- Yunho—”

Yunho sucks once more, hard, hollowing his cheeks, then pulls off and finishes him off with his hand. Colors burst behind Jaejoong’s eyelids and he presses his fist into his mouth to keep from making any sound as he comes. To keep from waking the others. And possibly their neighbors in the next building too.

His knees finally give out and he lets himself slide down to the floor beside Yunho, who wipes his hand off on one of their shirts and then tries to tuck Jaejoong back into his pants, only, no. No. That’s not how this goes.

Jaejoong reaches out, manages to fist one hand loosely in Yunho’s hair, and hauls him in for a kiss. And he feels a little _(a lot)_ floppy right now, a little uncoordinated, so it’s probably a little messy, but Yunho doesn’t seem to mind. Kisses right back, letting Jaejoong sweep his tongue through his mouth and he tastes a little different, Jaejoong thinks. Tastes different for having done that. Tastes a little more, somehow.

And he’s definitely not going to attempt to give his first blowjob when he feels this loose. When he can barely even think straight. So he pushes Yunho down on the floor and yanks his pants open and closes a hand around him _(and Yunho is hard, so, so hard, which is a way bigger thought than Jaejoong is prepared to handle right now so he files it away for later)_. Finds that spot just below his ribs with his mouth. Sucks. Strokes. Feels Yunho’s muscles clench as his hips buck. Remembers what Yunho did and presses his thumb into Yunho’s slit and has to ride out a spasm of his own at the way Yunho moans the first syllable of his name. Slides his mouth down to suck at the hollow at the inside of Yunho’s hip. He feels the sudden bunching of muscles and guesses what’s coming but he doesn’t move. Keeps his mouth working and his hand moving as Yunho arches, shuddering, beneath him then goes limp, gasping.

After a moment a hand slips into his hair and tugs weakly. Jaejoong slides up Yunho’s body and now it’s Yunho’s turn to pull Jaejoong into messy kisses, his fingers running lazily through Jaejoong’s hair, then dropping back to floor and tugging Jaejoong down beside him. Tucking Jaejoong against his side and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“So,” he says a while later, “are you distracted?”

Jaejoong blinks, and twists his neck up to peer at Yunho’s face. Yunho does his best to look serious. Jaejoong licks his lips and tries to school his own features.

“Oh, I could sleep, I guess,” he says. They stare at each other for a moment. Jaejoong’s lips twitch. Yunho starts to chuckle. Two seconds later they’re rolling into each other and trying to cover each other’s mouths so they don’t wake their dongsaengs with their laughter.

“Oh god,” says Jaejoong, trying to smother his giggles in Yunho’s shoulder. “Oh, I — that — mmm…” He gives up and just rubs his face in Yunho’s skin. He doesn’t know any words to combine ‘I’ve missed you’ with ‘I really needed that’ and maybe also ‘I love you so much it’s stupid.’ Probably there just aren’t any.

“So, that was okay then?” Yunho asks.

Jaejoong hums contentedly. “Very nice.”

“Aish, from ‘awesome’ to ‘nice?’ I feel demoted.”

Jaejoong laughs and blushes and slaps at Yunho’s chest. “Shut up,” he says. “Do you have to remind me of all the embarrassing things I say?”

Yunho smiles and nuzzles his hair. “I like the things you say. I always have. You’re so funny sometimes and you don’t mean to be. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“Weirdo,” Jaejoong tells him, but he shifts a little closer anyway.

Yunho huffs amusement. “Crazy person who likes his food on fire.”

“Spicier is better,” Jaejoong retorts automatically. Then he sighs, and the words slip out without him meaning them to. “You’ve seemed happy lately.”

_(And it’s wrong. Wrong to say it. Wrong to feel it. To watch Yunho acting so happy and worry about why instead of just being glad that he is because he loves Yunho and Yunho is amazing and he deserves to happy, he does, but Jaejoong wants to part of that happiness and when Yunho is happy and he’s just frustrated it worries him because what if they don’t feel the same thing? And Jaejoong knows that’s not right, hates himself a little for thinking like that. For feeling that way. But he can’t seem to help it.)_

Yunho gives him a slightly confused look and shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?” he asks. “TVXQ is doing really well, I really like the songs they’ve got for us so far, the choreo’s coming together and we’re going on tour again and we have fans, not just in Korea but international fans too. We get to make music and make people happy and it’s really hard work but when I left home to try and become a singer, I didn’t even know if I would make it. This is so much more than I ever dared to dream of. And…and I get you,” he adds quietly, giving Jaejoong one of those looks that’s almost shy. “So, I mean, we don’t get much time, but — but we didn’t anyway and — and it still _is,_ I guess. So, so yeah. I guess I am happy.”

Jaejoong stares at him. Because that’s just — that’s so…so _Yunho_ somehow, and he bursts out laughing again, shaking his head _(mostly at himself)_ and falling against Yunho, slapping at his chest some more.

“What?” Yunho asks. “What’s so funny?”

“You. You — ha — I wish I had your outlook on it. You are much more patient than I am.”

Yunho snorts. “I’m positive,” he says. “That’s not the same thing as patient. Ah, I’m making an executive decision: it’s too crowded in here. Yoochun can move his things in with Junsu and Changmin. They have more room anyway.”

Jaejoong raises an eyebrow. “Good luck explaining that one.”

“I won’t have to. There’s so much stuff in here, I just have to wait for someone to almost almost kill themselves trying to move around in here. And then we can have the room to ourselves.”

Which sounds great, only… “It’s not like it’s soundproofed in here.”

“Ya, stop ruining my plans with sense. I’m the leader, I don’t have to make sense.”

Jaejoong laughs. Rubs his face in Yunho’s chest some more. He feels light. Floaty. Stupidly happy all of a sudden.

“It’s okay,” he says, “I can — we can learn to be patient, I suppose.”

Yunho sighs. Tugs Jaejoong closer. “Mm, I guess. Some things are worth waiting for, after all.”

Jaejoong hums agreement and snuggles closer, wrapping an arm around Yunho’s chest and almost not noticing how strange it is. How strange it should be. To not mind. To sort of really like the way Yunho’s arms tighten around his shoulders.

A few moments later he has a thought, a realization, that makes him groan aloud.

“What is it?” Yunho asks.

“Ah, I know said we wouldn’t hate ourselves in the morning, but can we hate us now? We still have to get back up and go to bed!”

  


Things change after that. Some are things Jaejoong expected, or would have expected if he’d bothered to think about it — though he would have expected them to come after the first time, not the second. Like the way Yunho is less hesitant with him now. Or the way their make-out sessions — stolen in the few moments they get alone and still always far too brief — are different now. A little more heated. A little more dirty; their hands slipping to places they hadn’t quite dared go before.

Other things he didn’t expect, but probably should have, like the way it feels different now when Yunho eyes find his in a room or when their shoulders brush in the car. Like the way every time he gets a new text or voicemail or email from Yunho it just makes him stupidly happy. _(Even knowing that it’s probably work-related. Even knowing that even if it’s not it still won’t say anything too reckless because although none of the members have had any trouble yet fans have been known hack idols’ phones and emails and so they all just have to be so careful all the time.)_

And then there are other things. Things Jaejoong couldn’t have foreseen even if he’d tried. Like the way Yunho’s foot brushing against his under the table at dinner is exciting. Like the way his shyness seems to come and go, entirely at its own discretion, making him simultaneously capable of shoving Yunho up against the wall and kissing him until they’re practically dry-humping each other, and yet completely incapable of ever saying things, like what he wants or when something feels good or even just that he’s missed Yunho.

Like the way sometimes when they’re alone Jaejoong feels like it’s never enough, like if he’s not touching Yunho or Yunho isn’t touching him then the moment is wasted, but then other times he feels like he could just sit for hours, just there together, with their shoulders pressed together or their fingers tangled together or even just with Yunho’s foot against his leg, and that would be fine. Perfect, even.

And it’s impossible to predict what will happen when; the shyness or the boldness, the frantic, almost psychotic, need or the simple contentment. It’s like there’s no mid-ground to his feelings or reactions and someone’s playing the most absurd game of table-tennis with them, to the point where Jaejoong actually starts to wonder if maybe this is what being bipolar feels like.

The hardest thing, though, again, might be the fan service. Only now it’s not because it’s not real, but because it kind of is.

Jaejoong and Yunho were always touchy, even when they just friends, Jaejoong knows that. It’s part of why they were one of the first fan-couples. But before all they were doing was just pushing the boundaries of ‘friends’ a little, which was easy. All they had to do was not tense up. Just be for the cameras what they mostly were anyways. Which is maybe why it’s so hard now because they’ve never really had to fake it. Had to think about it. So hiding the changes in their relationship… well, Jaejoong thinks they’re doing a good job until he starts reading the fan comments. And they — they really _notice_ things.

Like how sometimes during and interview one or both of them will just end up staring at the other _(and Jaejoong knows he does that sometimes, starts looking at Yunho and then just gets lost in the looking and forgets everything else. And it’s nice, really nice, to think that maybe Yunho does that too sometimes)_. Or the way Yunho touches him now, like it’s something he doesn’t even think about doing, and, yeah, there’s fan service and everything but when Yunho’s hand slips onto Jaejoong’s thigh and stays there while someone else is talking so the cameras aren’t even focused on them, or when he spends a good twenty minutes fidgeting, looking for a place to put his hands because he’s not quite close enough to get away with touching Jaejoong but can’t seem to stand not to, or when they end up talking to each other _around_ Changmin, like he’s not even there, sometimes actually standing up to smack at or hug each other only to remember that that’s a little too much and have to sit back down again, that’s something else. Something not fan service.

And if Yunho has trouble controlling his hands, then Jaejoong’s problem with his mouth isn’t much better. And he’s always been like that, knows that part of the reason the company wanted him to be the ‘silent, mysterious one’ is because the idea of letting him run his mouth on interviews gave their managers ulcers. But they’ve pretty much given up on that concept with him now and he’s even less restrained with what he says than usual so he knows he has to do something.

And since his options are pretty much embrace it or control it, and he definitely can’t count on being able to control it, he embraces it. Completely. He reads fan-sites and comments, pays attention to what they notice, what they seem to like. He feeds Yunho on camera and talks about how he cooks for the other members. He talks about how Yunho is always hugging him backstage. When Yunho’s hands start to wander he never stops them, letting them sit on his knee, his thigh, around his shoulder. Gives in to his own urge to reach up or over and lace their fingers together. To push closer for a real hug whenever there’s opportunity to do so. He ships himself with Yunho so hard that it’s almost impossible for anyone to tell what is or isn’t fan service.

Of course, he has to do it with the others as well, to not do so would be suspicious, but that’s fine. The fans love it and the ones who ship the other couples deserve something too, he supposes. And it’s good to keep people guessing. Keep it confusing. But it’s easiest with Yunho and they’re still definitely the most popular fan-couple.

 _(Maybe the best thing, though is the worry is gone. Mostly. Gone enough that Yunho not pushing and never complaining when things get cut short doesn’t bother him anymore. Enough that Yunho sitting next to someone else doesn’t make him shrink a little inside. Enough that he can see Yunho wandering around with that stupid-happy smile on his face and know that he’s at least part of the reason for it. And, yeah, it’s still frustrating and he’s still not really good at being patient and part of him really,_ really _wants Yunho to make good on his threat to kick Yoochun out of their workroom because then at least they’d have somewhere even a little bit private other than the bathroom, but it’s okay. He thinks he kind of gets it. Thinks he understands. Because he’s a little stupid-happy too.)_


End file.
